I guess this is a movie review blog now. Deal with it.
So I should start of by stating that I have absolutely no
knowledge of film, hell I don’t even like films all that much, I’m more of a TV
show kinda guy. I also have very limited knowledge of comics, I know more than
most, but certainly not as much as some. And when it comes to Captain America,
well, I always just kind of mentally check out when he’s on screen, even during
the ensemble movies. I legitimately forgot Civil War was technically a Captain
America movie, and went all the way through to Endgame thinking that was
Avengers 3.
The MCU movies to me are… Okay? Generally speaking, they’re
overhyped action movies that have made a name for themselves because of the
novelty of an extended universe, and not on the merits of the movies
themselves. Well, I guess that’s a bit harsh, I seem to remember Iron Man being
okay. Why am I going through all the MCU movies in timeline order if I don’t
really care for them? Well, the Infinity Saga was wrapped up beautifully and I
just need to see if my opinion has changed now that I’ve seen the absolutely
amazing Endgame. So yeah. I’ll be reviewing every film in the MCU. Buckle up.
As of writing this, I’m watching the opening scene of
Captain America, and the film has already made a terrible impression on me because
in my top 5 least favourite things list are Nazis, and films I struggle to find
a decent stream of. I have pretty low expectations for this film, cause as I’ve
said, Steve Rogers is boring. ‘America’s Hero’, fuck you Steve, I’m not
patriotic for my own country, let alone some other cunt’s.
On to the actual movie now. They do a damn good job making
Steve look so feeble and meek, he genuinely looks like the kinda kid I would
happily have tried to avoid hanging out with in school. The premise is he wants
to shoot a load of Nazis, but the US government won’t let him cause he’s a
massive fucking pussy. It’s kind of interesting have a superhero movie where
the hero doesn’t learn how to be noble and heroic over the course of the movie,
because Rogers already is that. He already has an innate sense of virtue, just
wanting to stick up for the little man. This means the movie needs to give
Steve a different kind of character arc, he must develop in a different way. I
really like this as an idea.
Surprise surprise, the antagonist in this WW2 movie is the
Nazi inside of all of us. And by us, I mean the Nazis. They’re doing some freaky
ass experiment, because it wouldn’t be a superhero movie without magic/alien
technology/freaky unrealistic science. While the Nazis are playing with their
electric toys, the USA are pretending they were important in the war by
creating super soldiers. The first of which is Steve Rogers himself. It’s about
as basic as a superhero origin story can be.
Man this movie cannot stop hammering in what a “good man”
Steve is. The thing with this idealistic hero having no obvious vices besides him
being physically weak is that it just isn’t relatable, at least not to me.
Regular people have problems, they have flaws in their personality, and as of
now, we’ve seen none of Steve’s. The film expects you to just kind of fall in
love at first sight, just immediately be on board with Caps journey. Because he
doesn’t grow, neither does your relationship with the character. For example,
when the friendly German doctor scientist dude bites the bullet, there’s no big
Uncle Ben speech, “with great power comes great responsibility”, there’s just
the guy touching his chest. I think the implication is he’s telling Steve not
to change, but I like to believe he just wanted to feel those rock hard abs
before he died.
Steve’s struggle becomes more apparent in the 2nd
act. He’s being used a poster boy for the US military, it seems like he won’t
actually see the battlefield as he tours the country selling bonds and trying
to get men to enlist. Steve is clearly frustrated that he can’t fight alongside
the other men, but he also follows his orders, and gives his performances plenty
of enthusiasm. Despite what I just said, this is the interesting part of Steve’s
character, his blindly following authority. Steve and Peggy are cute too, I
didn’t expect to like this relationship, but it is sweet.
Steve launches a moronic rescue mission to try and save
Bucky who’s being held prisoner by some German bad guys. He succeeds against
all odds, and comes face to face with the antagonist of the villain, man with
red head, or MWRH for short. Jokes aside, I like Red Skull honestly, he’s just
your typical bad guy doing bad things cause he’s a Nazi. It’s fine for the type
of movie it is. We see Cap become the war hero he always wanted to be, yet his
personality never wavers, it is quite neat I suppose.
We’re into the last act of this movie and I swear I have
absolutely no clue what Hydra are trying to do. Weapons? That’s as best I can
describe it. They’re pushing the Nazi regime with super advanced weaponry but
that’s so lame. The action sequences in this movie are also pretty crappy. They’re
just bland. Nothing to laugh at, but definitely nothing special.
Anyway, big showdown at Hydra base, Steve tries to stop MWRH
from blowing up NYC, big cool fight on a plane and then shows over. Cap crashes
into the ocean and drowns to death and Peggy bought a red white and blue
vibrator as a replacement, everyone else lived happily ever after. Cap is woken
up in the future by Sammy Jacky as Nick Fury, and that leads nicely onto the Avengers.
But we aren’t going onto the Avengers. We’re going to something much, much
worse. Apparently.
In conclusion, Captain America was actually, well, pretty
good. I enjoyed it, and I didn’t expect to, but here we are. The acting was
good, the pacing faltered in the last third of the movie, but was otherwise
pretty strong and consistent throughout. As previously mentioned, I don’t care
for the action scenes, the fighting isn’t great and some of the CGI was just
horrible. But overall it doesn’t look too bad.
I’m not really sure if I should be scoring these, maybe ranking
them in order? For now, we’ll give it a score. 7/10. Pretty good, but I still
don’t think Cap is a fantastic character (even if I do like him more now) but
the overall story was dope, and the film was paced well enough that it never
really seemed to drag. And speaking of a drag, next up is Captain Marvel,
according to some website that tells me the chronological order of the MCU movies.
Now I actually haven’t seen that one, but I have heard not nice things said
about it. So we’ll have to wait and see.
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