Stark is back in black, but will I be thunderstruck?
Iron Man 2 is set immediately after the first one. And so I
am watching it immediately after the first one. I remember almost nothing about
this film, which as I previously said, does not bode well. In terms of release
order, this came out after the lacklustre Hulk and Thor movies, so it really
needed to do its best to get the MCU back on track. Honestly around this time
the MCU was beginning to flounder, if it wasn’t for the vision of the extended
cinematic universe, it would have all fallen apart right here, and Iron Man
would have just been a flash in the pan, one off, good superhero movie. Iron
Man 2 pretty much singlehandedly saved the MCU, and then Captain America came
along to restore faith right before the Avengers.
The film opens with someone attempting to recreate an Arc
reactor in a scene that is reminiscent of Stark creating the first Iron Man
suit in the cave, it’s a cool little throwback, and I guess there’s no mystery
over who are villain is gonna be in this one. This ties in with the theme of
the movie. Legacy. What do we leave behind? How are we remembered?
Tony believes he is some kind of unstoppable hero. His
arrogance has tripled and his attitude seems to have regressed from where we
left him in Iron Man. Tony is under pressure from the government to release the
Iron Man suit to them, they view it as a dangerous weapon and want to replicate
it so they can use it as a dangerous weapon. Obviously. The risk to national
defense comes from the fact that the government believe other people can try
and replicate the suit, but Stark assures them that nobody could or will even
come close and he may as well turn to the camera, wink, and say “ever heard of
foreshadowing?”
We find out that Tony is basically dying. The shrapnel stuck
in his chest from the first movie is only kept out of his heart by the Arc reactor,
but that same reactor is poisoning his blood. So he needs to find a way to both
keep the shrapnel out of his heart, and not get poisoned to death. Neat. Also
Peppa Potts is fucking annoying, I didn’t touch on this in the review of the first
film, but she is one of the most irritating characters in all of cinema. She is
whiny and naggy, and honestly the MCU would be better if she just did not
exist. Not helped by the fact that Gwyneth Paltrow is not a very good actress
and is kind of an annoying human being.
This film makes up for Pepper’s inclusion by introducing us
to two new characters. Happy Hogan, who was in the last film played by a different
actor and didn’t really do anything, and Scarlett Johansson’s ‘Black Widow.’ Happy
is total gold, and he only gets better as the movies continue. After the introduction
of BW, we shift to the Monaco Grand Prix, where Stark comes face to face with
the villain of this movie. Asian dude with electric whip. Tony beats him, says
I am Iron Man, then dies on the spot, movie ends, credits roll.
Nope, the dude is arrested, Tony realises he fucked up and
someone managed to recreate his reactor, and Tony’s competitor from Hammer
takes an interest and decides he wants to use this new guy to take Stark on
head to head. From what I can gather, this guy invented the Arc reactor that
Stark’s dad first built and marketed. There are so many closeups of peoples
faces here, I feel like I’m staring deep into the soul of electric whip man.
There’s also a lot of quiet murmured conversations in this
film, and that gets a boo from me because it is past midnight and the loud sequences
are VERY loud. I have also just noticed with the better lighting, that the whip
man appears to not be Asian, but rather Russian? My bad, I’m not racist I just
don’t pay enough attention and can’t be arsed going through and changing what I’ve
written so far. We also now have a name. Ivan Vanko. Which I will remember because
I still have no clue what the name of the bad guy in the last film was.
Really? Is the villain just gonna be another guy in another
Iron Man suit? How imaginative. I’m bored, and I can’t even describe why? The whole ‘sins of the father’ trope has been
done to death, I’m more interested in Stark’s reactor dilemma than I am in anything
to do with the villain. That’s what this film should be centred around, Tony
presents himself to the world as almost a deity, constant comments are made
about him being a God, and that makes his personal struggle so much more
interesting, his private weakness is more interesting than someone going toe to
toe with him publicly. I would much rather see the fallout of the population
finding out that Stark is a dying man than have someone just straight up try to
kill him. The public would have more of a field day with Stark failing his due
to his own weakness rather than someone else’s strength.
Tony is beginning to go off the rails and so Rhodes suits up
to take him down a peg. In one of the most interesting scenes in the film, Tony
easily takes down War Machine and acts like an arrogant twat while doing so.
Stark has people that care about him but he is so wrapped up in his own ego
that he can’t even begin to see that people are trying to help him. Rhodes
steals a suit, deciding that Stark is no longer suitable to be Iron Man, and
gives it to the military. The character of Stark in this movie is flawless, he’s
a dying man and he knows it. He has the attitude of a man who has given up hope.
And now all he wants to do is have fun.
Every time the slime ball from Hammer is on screen I
mentally check out. I really couldn’t care less about the villains of this
movie, like I keep saying, Stark is his own foil, his own villain. What are
these guys doing that Stark isn’t doing himself? The government is losing faith
in the security that Iron Man is providing because of Stark’s own actions. No
need for anyone else. There’s a lot happening here, and that’s good, it keeps
the plot moving quickly, which it obviously needs to be doing. But when some of
the film is just so unnecessary why should I care? Now that the military has a
suit, what is the fucking point of Hammer industries inclusion in the movie?
I am not following the structure of this film at all, and it’s
really dragging as a result. We’re flipflopping between characters left, right
and centre and it’s hard to distinguish where one act ends and another begins.
Stark manages to create a new element or something that’ll
save his life. The way he goes about it is cool, and his head levels out. As
far as I’m concerned, the interesting part of the movie ends here. Ivan calls
Tony to gloat and lure him out. With Stark fully healed, the plot threads start
to come together, and all that we’re left with is Hammer being pricks. Shockingly,
Ivan turns on the slimeball from Hammer, and uses the drones to wreak havoc at
the press conference. Even the action here is just kinda lame. It’s just Tony
flying around and dodging attacks, we’ve seen it already and we will see it
again. The drones aren’t a real threat to civilians (except the kid in the Iron
Man mask that is apparently Peter Parker) or even Peppa, so there are no real
stakes here. Ivan escapes and Natasha saves the day. So anticlimactic.
Oh, but then Ivan shows up in his own suit. We get yet
another robot fight, bored of them now, Ivan is defeated and presumably blown
up and all the other drones all blow up and miraculously nobody is hurt. There’s
an awkward, boring romance scene, and everyone lived happily ever after until
the first Avengers movie.
This film was an absolute mess. Peppa is irritating, there
was no need for the villain’s story, this could very easily have been a film
about Stark struggling and falling victim to his own hubris. His personal
issues were far more interesting than anything else in the film, and the
inclusion of the S.H.I.E.L.D elements were appreciated too. Nothing with Ivan
or Hammer was necessary or really enjoyable. This is a 5.5/10 for me. It has
its moments, but it was my least favourite so far, and just didn’t really have
much going for it outside of Tony’s character arc.
But next up is the Hulk. And I know that is not a good film.
I cannot wait.
So far the ranking reads:
1. 1. Captain Marvel
2. 2. Iron Man
3. 3. Captain America: The First Avenger
4. .4. Iron Man 2
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